So You Are Not Perfect
I have been on the road this week, presenting key findings from our 2008 Trust Barometer in Seattle, San Francisco, Silicon Valley and Los Angeles. I was fortunate to team with top thinkers in politics, media and communications theory, including Jeff Berman of MySpace, Chris Kelly of Facebook, Katie Hafner of the New York Times, author Bob Cialdini, as well as Dan Schnur and Tony Blankley of Edelman. One of the interesting conversation threads during the last three days was how to achieve trustworthiness by admitting imperfection.
Bob Cialdini said that an effective communicator uses the technique of mentioning a drawback in his/her position before delivering the strongest argument in the debate. “You establish credibility by admitting weakness. You gain a moment of persuasive power that opens the listener to really hear the best feature of your argument.” He used Avis car rental’s tag line, “We’re #2 but we try harder” as the classic example of this theory. He went on to say that trust is premised upon a combination of knowledge/expertise linked to the perception that the information is being delivered in an honest way.
Tony Blankley observed that during a recent debate among Democratic candidates John Edwards, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, a question was asked, “What is your worst personality trait?” Edwards and Clinton gave the tired responses of “I care too much” or “I work too hard “, Obama, by contrast, said, “I lose my work papers.” Blankley noted that with that totally human response, Obama might have risked more, but “in giving something away, he sets the viewer up for his major point of difference, his ability to relate.”
Chris Kelly noted the trend toward use of real names in social networks, replacing the screen names of the early days. “You cannot build trusted relationships on Facebook without your real identity out there,” he said. “Why should you accept an invitation to be a friend unless you can trust the other person?” Berman of MySpace noted that, “Everybody is with us for 15 people, not the 15 minutes of Andy Warhol fame. But some of us are more willing to share in a public manner.” He also pointed that the Obama campaign’s approach to phone banks is more authentic– “young Obama supporters are asked to call up their friends and tell them why they are supporting the candidate; no more cold calls or taped robo-calls.”
Katie Hafner of the NY Times ended our panel at the Churchill Club in Silicon Valley on Tuesday night with the big question, “Are companies really committed to transparency?” I believe the answer is increasingly they are because it is both smart and necessary. Back in 8th grade after I threw an interception that was run back for a touchdown, my football coach told me “Get back out there and throw another pass. But don’t look at your receiver the whole time so everybody on the other team knows what’s coming.” Trust is achieved by honest behavior over the long run; if you make a mistake, admit it and get back in the game with a better plan.